Brexit Top 10 Sex Toys

Last updated on April 16th, 2019 at 07:39 am.

Top 10 sex toys for Brexit

Here’s our list of top ten sex toys for the upcoming Brexit. From harnesses and macho gear for topping Brexiteers to pig boy slut butt plugs and restraints for submissive remainers, we have it all.

10 – Hard Brexit Cock Ring

brexit cockring

The Hard Brexit cock ring. Is your Brexit not hard enough? Use this Brexit Screwballs cock ring to ensure it stays harder for longer. Ideal for sustained negotiations and memorable outcomes.

9 – Brexit Back Stop Lockdown

Brexit Back Stop

This plug and chastity combo is perfect for your Brexit Back Stop. The CBT restraint ensures your soft Brexit is locked down and can never get hard and the sterling steel plug means your customs union is fixed in place for the transition. If only we could figure out how it worked.

8 – Brexit War Cabinet

brexit war cabinet

Every Brexiteer needs are good arsenal. These weapons from ‘Square Peg’ could prove highly effective in dealings with European counterparts!


7 – Brexit Customs Union Double Dildo

Brexit Customs Union Double Dildo

There’s nothing better for keeping your customs in union. Allows for reciprocal trading movement and market fluctuations. Ooh! Works best with our Friction Free Trading Lube.


6 – The Doc Johnson Brexit Politician Dildo

Doc Johnson Brexit Fist Dildo

Who needs a new Brexiteer Foreign Secretary when these dildos are perfect for thrusting hard brexit and dominating negotiations? They work best when strapped onto and driven by a Brexit Bus.


5 – The Brexit Mandate

brexit mandate fashion

As we keep being told, the referendum gave the UK government a mandate. We recommend they stock up at Clonezone and tap every hot bear on Grindr to secure the best possible man date.


4 – Brexit Cherry Picking

brexit anal lube

Ooh those filthy inappropriate Brexiteers! If they must go cherry picking, some freedom of movement facilitating aromas and desensitising lube is a must before soft border checks, careful negotiation and hopefully a deep and special partnership.


3 – Brexit Legal Entity

Brexit Legal Entity

For kinky Brexiteers it is essential that their legal entity is bigger than your legal entity. So we’ve checked out the hottest entities which are legal and come up with this corker – the Sword of Damocles…


2 – Bexit Rule Taking vs Brexit Rule Making

Brexit Flogging a Dead Horse

In case you hadn’t realised, Brexit is just a Westminster/Brussels BDSM scenario with both sides arguing about who gets to be the Dom(me). Well get into being a switch, baby! Check out Uberkinky for excellent switch possibilities.


1 – Friction free trading lube

brexit friction free trading lube

This Kamikaze lube is excellent for ensuring smooth entry into those tight European loopholes. It allows free movement for members whether your brexit is soft or hard.

Special mention – Hard Brexit Fudge.

Doesn’t every politician get off on a great fudge?

If you’d like to read more about how sees the UK, read our thoughts on the Digital Economy Act.

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