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The Anaconda Dildo

By Master John
Updated on Aug 19, 2023

Reading time: 3 minutes

Anaconda

Anaconda by Mister Hankey - the perfect dildo

The Anaconda dildo is the latest model from the high-end Mister Hankey range of toys.

This is artisan tubesteak. 

I’d love to take a suitcase of these on a plane, just so I could pretend to be Samuel L Jackson if anyone questioned the contents of my baggage. But this dildo – this Anaconda – is not a snake, it’s no reptile, it won’t fit in your trousers, and it’s larger than life. This is artisan tubesteak. 

it’s a beautiful bell-end.

In common with all the toys in the Mister Hankey range, the Anaconda is exqusitely crafted. Every detail is carefully considered and sculpted. Weighing it in your hands you can’t help but admire the marvellous meatus, the gorgeous glans, the fantastic frenulum, the uber urethra, the considerable corona, the raging raphe, the superior spongiosum, the perfect prepuce and the awesome orifice. In short, it’s a beautiful bell-end.

Worshipful Order of Cock

My first thought, when massaging the soft-touch rubber out of the protective plastic, was towards the solid circular plinth. This cock stands up by itself. It’s could almost be put on a podium to worship. It could be the center of attention at a hen party or stag do. I’m imagining the Worshipful Order of Cock or a venerable artefact in years to come for a themed frat house.

Anaconda by Mister Hankey - the perfect dildo for anal and vaginal depth play

Anyway. Enough of the dream sequence. What is this toy like to play with? The pronounced glans ridge is the start feature of this model. It’s like a slightly elongated cone with a pronounced ridge all the way round – pointing straight up on the underside with a super-stretched frenulum. The end blossoms with cock lips like a puckering flower. The effect is a toy that is easy to insert initially, but requires relaxation and lube to insert beyond the head.

It lets the fuckee know who’s in charge.

You, or your sub, will know when the head has penetrated. It pops in, audibly, and on every stroke, that ridge will be felt. The ridge has almost butt-plug like qualities – once it’s in, it won’t want to come out by itself. It lets the fuckee know who’s in charge. If you ever want to create those porn star movies scenes where the dom’s cock penetrates deeply (and the Anaconda is excellent for depth play), only to pull completely out, leaving a gaping open, quivering, abyss of a hole, before plunging back in – this is the ideal tool for the job.

Anaconda by Mister Hankey - the perfect dildo

But’s it’s more than just a competent fucking device. The shape of the head is ideal for hitting the right spots with precision. There’s a vac-u-lock option, so it’s ideal for a fucking machine – but also ideal for fitting with a vac-u-lock handle. These are available in lots of sex stores. We tried this both vaginally and anally with our fully compliant victim at a munch last week and found a truncheon style handle offers a wealth of options. This dildo is exceptional when twisted as well as thrusted. It captures, if not owns, the g-spot – every part of it. Slave Kevin also agreed, judging by the paroxysms of his anal orgasm, when he was subjected to rotating thrusts up his arse and over his prostate by our friend, Slave Owner Roger. Apparently his own cock was leaking like a faucet in need of repair.

a lightning conductor for screaming orgasms

Similarly, on the end of a high powered fucking machine, set to a very fast short stroke, the Anaconda is like a lightning conductor for screaming orgasms. Just line that head up with the most sensitive spot and admire your work. For vaginal and anal play combined, we recommend a fully restrained subject, a Shockspot fucking machine on full speed with tiny strokes with an Anaconda for targeted anal, a Hitachi magic wand fixed to the clitoris – and a countdown clock set to at least one hour.

A Mr. Hankey’s toy is a great buy and will last a lifetime.

Mr Hankey's Toys - 'kink10' for 10% off

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This kinky BDSM sex toy review was last updated on Aug 19, 2023 @ 8:57 am.

Reviewer

Reviewer: Master John

I love kink. I particularly enjoy large anal plugs, expanding inflatables, deep insertions and prostate massages. I've recently branched out into estim for prostate massage and exotic programmable fucking machines. There's nothing like trying it all out on an unsuspecting sub first, male, female or transgender...

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